老張住鄉下，第一次開車上高速公路，要去台北找兒子。

老張的太太擔心老公的安全，所以在家裡聽收音機，隨時留心路況報導。

她忽然聽到公路有路況發生，

"高速公路上有一輛車逆向行駛，請駕駛注意。"

老張的太太很緊張，馬上打手機通知老公注意。

"老伴，你要小心，高速公路上有一輛車在逆向行駛喔!"

老張很憤慨地說"甚麼一輛，是好幾百輛啦!"

To 射手小王子:

看來台灣人到大陸除了炒房外，在語言溝通上還有點小貢獻囉;)

 

To 渙亭：

寫在面ㄦ上我嫌太長了，而且我把這篇作了個鏈接在我的Space上，以後有覺得好玩的笑話會繼續的加進來:)

◎下車投
外國觀光男來到台灣，他搭上了台北15路公車； 就在他要投錢時，司機說：
下車投、下車再投！」 「What？下車投？」 於是，只見這外國觀光男跑下車
去拿起零錢瞄著投錢桶許久，還是搖搖頭說：「拜…　拜託，這樣怎麼投？我又不
是麥可 喬登…　」

 

◎黃牛票
「黃牛票、黃牛票！一張500元！」
黃牛正在賣票時，有個便衣警察走了過來。
不知情的黃牛問：「先生，你要買幾張？」
便衣警察：「我是警察！」
黃牛：「喔，軍警票啊？一張320。」

 

It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office.

He told the florist to write "Happy Anniversary, Year Number 2" on the card. I was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased about the card.

It read "Happy Anniversary. You're Number 2."

After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her mother, "and I'll grant them."

Her mom first asked for world peace. Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled.

Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children. Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged.

The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her third wish, "I wish to have a trim figure again."

The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly.

"I'll need more power for this!" she exclaimed.

Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the floor of her son's room, a mother finally laid down the law: each item of clothing she had to pick up would cost her son 25 cents.

By the end of the week, he owed her $1.50. She received the money promptly, along with a 50- cent tip and a note that read,

"Thanks, Mom; keep up the good work!"

A college professor asked his class a question.

"If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?"

One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when Called upon said, "Professor you're 44.."

The Professor said, "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?"

The student said, "You see professor, I have a brother; he's 22, and he's only half crazy."

 

Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?"

His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny."

Johnny says, "WOW! I can see why they threw him out!"

A little boy just couldn't learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the Declaration of Independence. He didn't know. For almost a week she asked him the same question every day, but still he couldn't come up with the right answer.

Finally, in desperation, she called the boy's father to her office. "Your boy won't tell me who signed the Declaration of Independence," she complained.

"Come here, son, and sit down," the dad said to the boy. "Now if you signed that crazy thing, just admit it so we can get out of here!"

A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location. "It's only a stone's throw away from the beach," he was told.

"But how will I recognize it?" asked the man.

The reply was, "It's the one with all the broken windows."

My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean tee shirt to class. She told us the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it.

My wife frantically swept through my daughter's room, finding nothing usable but one tee shirt that already had something printed on one side. She sent it off to school with my daughter. That afternoon, my daughter returned and happily showed off her shirt.

On one side it said, "Families are Forever."

And on the other, "Be Smart, Don't Start."

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.

She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"

I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy"

"I know," she replied, "but what's growing in your butt?"

After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed him -- and got a woman.

"Is Mike there?" I asked.

"He's in the shower," she responded.

"Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up.

When he didn't return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. "This is Mike," he said.

"You're not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed.

"I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."